Someone I Used to Love
by Joseph Haney
Summary: Formerly titled "And So It Goes." Shortly after she arrives at the lab, Riley Adams meets someone from her past. Can she forgive him for the pain he caused her? Initally set during "Art Imitates Life" and continues on through season nine
1. A Familiar Face

Author's note: Ok so this is an idea that I've been kicking around for a while, and I wanted some outside opinions so here it is. I am thinking about a follow-up story to this, but won't go through with it unless the reviews to this are positive.

Riley Adams cursed as she pulled into the CSI lab parking lot. She was late to her first day of work. _Great,_ she thought. _This is just what I need today. All because of that damn traffic. Never mind that I left three hours early in hopes of avoiding it._ It was a good thing she hadn't had a gun or she probably would have shot someone. She quickly got out of the car and hurried through the main entrance to the lab. _So much for a good first impression,_ she thought. _Could this day get any worse?_

She took a quick look around and found the main desk. She approached it and found herself more or less face-to-face with a shorter woman with long, curly, red hair and semi-thick glasses. "Can I help you?" the woman asked.

"Yes. I'm Riley Adams, the new CSI. Could you tell me where to report in?"

"You'll need to speak with Mr. Grissom. But first sign in here," she said handing Riley a clipboard with a sheet of paper saying "Employee sign-in sheet." As Riley picked up the pen, the woman added "And I'll get your manuals and gear."

The woman stood up and disappeared behind the shelves of files. Riley finished signing her name and scanned the list to get the names of the people she was going to be working with. She had gotten about halfway down the list when she saw a name she recognized. A name she had hoped to never see again.

Just then the woman returned. Riley, still recovering from the shock, handed the clipboard back to her as she put two folders and a cell phone on the counter in front of her. "No gun?" Riley asked, trying to keep her voice steady.

"I guess not," the woman said, almost apologetically.

"I guess it comes later," Riley said, picking up the items in front of her. She thanked the woman and started walking down the hall. _It's probably for the best that I don't have a gun,_ she thought. _I'd probably wind up shooting him._

As she walked down the hall, she saw people filing out of the conference room. She didn't see him, but that didn't mean he wasn't there. She wondered what she was going to do when she ran into him.

************************************************************************************

Less than three hours later, Grissom and Riley pulled into the CSI parking lot with the evidence from her first crime scene. There wasn't much, just some trace from the victim's shorts. She wasn't looking forward to going back to the lab since it meant that she might run into him. Of course, she would have to face him eventually, but she wasn't ready to do it on her first day.

"Ok. First things first: check this into evidence. Then I want you to take that to David Hodges in trace," Grissom said from the driver's seat. "Have him run a full spectrum analysis on it and compare it with the trace from the victim this morning. You got that?"

"Yeah," Riley said. "David Hodges, have him analyze and compare it." She got out of the SUV and walked to the front door of the lab.

When she walked into the trace analysis lab, his back was to her and he was playing some god-awful country song.

"Hey David," she said, just loud enough to be heard over the music. He froze for a second and then quickly turned around. He reached over and picked up the remote control next to him and turned the music off.

"Riley Adams," he said when he finally found his voice. "So you're the new CSI. This is awkward."

"I thought you were in LA," she said. "How long have you been in Vegas?"

"About six years now. The head honchos in LA thought I had an attitude problem."

"I wonder what gave them that idea." She said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

Hodges suddenly got serious. "How have you been Riley?"

"Better since I left you. And believe me, if I had known you were here, I'd have asked to be assigned somewhere else."

"I guess I deserve that. I don't suppose saying I'm sorry would change anything?"

"No, it wouldn't. It's been ten years, David. Why should apologies make a difference now?"

Hodges nodded. "I see your point. So what are you going to do? Ask for a transfer?"

"Unfortunately I can't, at least not yet. I've signed a three year contract and I'm stuck."

"So what are we going to do?" Hodges asked. "I mean, we can't just pretend it didn't happen."

"I guess we'll just have to do the best we can around each other. There's no reason we can't be professional."

Hodges took a deep breath. "I guess not."

"In the mean time, Grissom wants you to run a full spectrum analysis on this," Riley said, pulling the bag containing the evidence from her pocket. "And compare it to the trace found on the first victim."

"Will do," Hodges said, taking the bag from her. "I'll have the results in a couple of hours."

"Good. Come find me when you've got them." With that, she turned and walked toward the door of the lab.

"Riley," Hodges called out after her. She stopped and turned to face him. "I know you said it wouldn't make a difference, but I am sorry. I made the biggest mistake of my life that night. I'm not going to insult you by trying to explain it away, but I want you to know that if I could, I would take it back in a second."

"But you can't, David," Riley said. "You cheated on me with my best friend, and I can't forgive that, no matter how much you apologize. We had something special and you screwed it up. And now you have to live with that."

Hodges slowly nodded. "I know. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get this stuff analyzed and I do my best work alone. Please close the door behind you when you leave." He sat down and began to work on the evidence.

Riley stood there for another moment before turning around and walking out of the lab, closing the door behind her.


	2. Some Things Never Change

Author's note: As per request, I am continuing my Riley/Hodges (Ridges?) story, but first I must warn all of you that this is my first shot at a relationship fan-fic and, obviously, I didn't exactly choose the easiest couple to write a story about, so bear with me. And away we go…

(This chapter is set during the episode "Leave Out All the Rest.")

The lab seemed to be exceptionally hectic when Riley, Greg, and Nick returned from Ian Wallace's house with a trunk full of evidence, not the least of which was the metal chest of bondage gear they had found under his bed.

"I guess shift change just started," Greg said, as he opened the trunk door on their SUV "which means, ladies and gentlemen, we are officially in our third straight shift."

"Stop whining, Sanders," Riley said, playfully punching him in the arm. "I once went for seven straight shifts on a case back in Chicago."

"Seven shifts?" Nick asked. "That's harsh."

"It was a slow week," Riley said, grabbing one case of evidence. "It wasn't all bad though. I used the overtime to pay for the repairs my car needed after I ran the suspect over."

"You ran over a suspect?" Greg said, with a skeptical grin on his face.

"Well, he wasn't a suspect at the time; just an ex-boyfriend who pissed me off. He was a suspect in a B&E two months later."

"Can we focus on the task at hand, please?" Nick said pulling the last of the evidence out of the car. "I swear, you two are worse than a couple of teenagers."

"Sorry, dad," Greg said in the most sarcastically apologetic voice he could manage. "Are you going to spank us, or just make us sit in the corner?"

"I wouldn't mind being spanked," Riley said, casually. She then turned and walked into the lab.

Nick and Greg caught up with her at the evidence locker as she was signing the evidence in. Neither of them said anything, but regarded her with a mixture of awe and respect. Without looking at them, and trying to hide the smile on her face, she took the shirt that Nick had found in the laundry hamper out of the crate and walked toward the DNA lab. After she left the shirt with Wendy, she walked over to the break room to get a cup of coffee.

As she poured the coffee, she couldn't help but feel a little embarrassed with herself. _Maybe I overdid it a little,_ she thought, _but seeing the looks on their faces was totally worth it._ She chuckled softly and turned around—and saw David Hodges sitting on a couch attempting to put a band-aid on his finger.

She was tempted to walk out and drink the coffee at her desk, but her curiosity got the best of her. "What are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm trying to stop myself from bleeding to death," Hodges said, sounding more than a little frustrated. "Do you have any idea how hard these things are to put on with one hand?"

"Do you need help?" Riley asked, regretting it instantly.

"Are you offering, or are you just trying to make fun of my plight?"

"I'm offering," she said sitting down next to him and setting her coffee on the table. "Give me your hand."

He hesitated, looking her over as if trying to determine if she had some other motive.

"Don't worry. I'm not going to rip it off."

"If you say so," he said, holding out his hand.

"So, what did you do anyway?"

"I got a splinter at the dump site this morning."

"Seriously, a splinter?" she asked as she finished applying the band-aid. "What, was this a chance to try to flirt with me or something?"

"Come on, Riley. You know me. If I was going to flirt with you, I would have asked you to kiss it and make it better." He sat back and flashed that smile, the one that always…_No, _she thought. _Don't go there. It's what he wants._

"I thought I knew you. When did you stop wanting to flirt?"

Before Hodges could respond, Greg walked in, holding several evidence bags. "There you are, Hodges. I need you to run this trace evidence, like five minutes ago."

"So once again I must break your case for you, Sanders. You really should have stayed in the lab. This is where the real action happens."

He started to get up, but stopped and turned back to Riley. "Are you sure you don't want to kiss it and make it better?" he asked, holding up his bandaged finger. Then flashing that mischievous smile that had helped him win so many arguments, he stood up, took the evidence from Greg, and left.

Riley shook her head and picked up her coffee. "Is he always like that?" she asked Greg

"Hodges? Yeah, pretty much. Annoying, isn't it?"

"Yeah. How do you people keep from killing him?"

"Well I can't speak for everyone," Greg said, taking the empty chair next to her, "but I know I'll always do better with the ladies than he does, so I can take his crap here in the lab."

"Is that a fact?" Riley asked.

"Yeah. Hodges hasn't been on a date in the whole time he's been here."

"How do you know?"

"Trust me, as much as Hodges brags, if he got lucky, the whole lab would know about it."

"Not everyone brags about things like that," Riley said, taking a sip of her coffee.

"Well Hodges would," Greg said.

"Maybe you're right. He can be a bit of a jerk sometimes."

Just then, Nick stuck his head in the break room. "There you two are. Catherine just called. They found a burned out SUV in the desert that could be our vic's. They want us there ASAP."

Riley downed the rest of her coffee and stood up. Greg quickly followed suit. As they walked down the hall, Greg came up beside her and asked, "Did you really hit an ex-boyfriend with your car?"

She glanced over at Hodges working in the trace lab and sighed. "Yeah, but I don't want to talk about it."


	3. Something There?

Author's note: OK, so I know it's been a while, but my muse has me kicking around ideas for four stories that I'm writing (as well as three stories that I'm not writing yet) and I'm trying to balance that with a paper for my history class—all-in-all I've had a crazy month.

I'm switching points of view here. For the next couple of chapters, the story will be told from the perspective of David Hodges. Whether or not it changes back will depend on what happens between now and the end of season nine.

Ok, enough of my ranting. Here she goes:

*****

When Riley came into the lounge obviously frustrated, his instincts told him to stay out of it. But as usual he didn't listen.

"You okay?" he asked, setting down the newspaper he was reading.

She turned and glared at him, which told him clearly that she didn't want to talk about it. Again the warning light in his head went off. Again he ignored it. Mainly because he was pretty sure what it was that had set her off.

"This is about that Congressman's aide isn't it?" he asked. "The whole lab's talking about how he walked into the courthouse and blew his brains out."

"So what if he did?" Riley snapped.

"So I know how you feel about suicides," Hodges said.

"And how is that?"

"You despise anyone who can take their own life and leave their family behind to pick up the pieces. Considering you were on the 'left behind' end of a suicide, I can't say I blame you."

"Don't go there, David."

"Don't go where?"

"Don't try to use my mother's suicide to try to get close to me. You are the last person I want to talk to."

"That hurts, Riley. You honestly think I'd use something as tragic as that to win you back?"

"In a heartbeat," Riley said. "Why wouldn't you? It worked before."

"That's true. So are you going to tell anyone about it?"

"So what if I am?" Riley asked. "Are you going to try to stop me?"

"No," Hodges said with a sigh. "I'm not going to do that. You have the right to tell whoever you want." Then he grinned and added, "Except Sanders. Him you can't tell."

"Why is that? Afraid that he'll try to use it to get close and ruin your chances of us getting back together? When will you get it through your head that we are through!."

"Boy aren't we paranoid today," Hodges said, standing up. "I was kidding. I really don't care who you tell, or even _if_ you tell anyone. And not everything I say should be interpreted as a sign that I haven't moved on, because I have." With that he picked up his newspaper and walked to the door.

"David, wait," Riley said as he was about to leave. He stopped and turned back to face her. "I'm sorry. I was out of line."

He sighed and offered a slight smile. "It's okay. Some cases are tough enough without some kind of personal connection."

"I know," she said. "And thanks for being so understanding."

"Hey, don't spread it around. I've got a reputation to uphold. A rumor like that could undermine the whole setup I've spent the last six years building."

She laughed at that, and just for a moment, Hodges was transported back to a time when it was easy to make her laugh, and he could tell by the look in her eyes that she was thinking the same thing. Then she caught herself.

"Well," she said quickly, "I should get back to work. Greg is waiting for me in the evidence garage."

"Yeah, and I've got a lot of trace to run for Catherine. If she catches me in here, she'll kill me."

They both walked out of the lounge and went their separate ways without a second glance. Hodges, however, didn't stop thinking about that moment that they had shared. Maybe, just maybe there was still something there…

*****

P.S. I realize that this chapter is short, fast paced, and not very good for a lot of other reasons. It's mainly a bridge between two ideas. I promise that the next few chapters will be better! Please review.


	4. Trouble

David Hodges had had enough. It had been two and a half months since that moment in the lounge and Riley had spent the entire time avoiding him. Or rather, she avoided being alone with him for very long. If they were together at all, it was usually under the watchful eye of Greg Sanders, which just further annoyed him. And on the rare occasion that they were alone together, she always made an excuse to leave before he could bring it up.

He could understand her reasons for it all, but this was something that simply could not be ignored. Even if there was no possibility for reconciliation, ignoring something like this would do more harm than good. It needed to be addressed.

It was for this reason that he decided that he wasn't going to let Riley get away from him today. If he had to, he'd wait at her car when she left for the night, and refuse to move until she agreed to talk. Or until she shot him, whichever came first.

But getting her alone turned out to be easier said than done. When he got to work, she was already out processing a crime scene. It sounded like a tough one: Two victims, one of them a seven-year-old boy. It was going to be a long night.

The trace evidence kept Hodges busy until nearly noon the next day. By the time he had finished, Riley was back in the field, this time processing the home of Reggie Hatcher, their prime suspect. There seemed to be nothing to do but wait until she got back.

He had been waiting for about a half hour when the drowsiness hit him. After nearly eleven hours of non-stop work, he wasn't surprised. He quickly stood up and walked over to the lounge for a quick cup of coffee.

He had just finished pouring it when he noticed Catherine walking by the lounge frantically talking on her cell phone. She looked worried about something. Something in the back of his mind told him it was about Riley. He hurried to the door, and opened it as she hung up.

"Catherine, what's up?" he asked, trying to hide the concern in his voice.

"That was Greg. Riley and Ray have been taken hostage by Reggie Hatcher," she said, without looking up. Hodges felt his stomach drop. _I hate being right, _he thought. He barely heard Catherine say, "I just got off the phone with Jim. He's going to meet Nick and me down there."

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Hodges heard himself ask.

Catherine looked up, surprised. "I don't think so. Stay here and finish running the evidence from the crime scene."

Hodges nodded. "I'll, uh…I'll get right on that."

Catherine walked over to him. "Are you okay, Hodges?"

"I'm fine," he said, putting on what he hoped was a look of confidence. "You'd better go."

Catherine studied him for a minute before turning and walking away. Hodges just stood in the hallway with the cup of coffee in his hand, now fully awake. _Riley's in trouble_ was the only thought racing through his mind. He hadn't realized that his feelings for her were so pronounced. He quickly made a decision.

Dropping the cup of coffee, he hurried off to Catherine's office and looked up the address of the Hatcher house. Committing it to memory, he ran to his locker. After two minutes of fumbling over the combination, he managed to get it open. He then spent three more minutes looking for his keys before remembering that they were in his pocket. Cursing himself, he slammed the locker shut and quickly walked back to his lab and grabbed his field kit. He then walked toward the door of the building, trying not to look suspicious.

_Don't worry, Riley. I'm coming,_ he thought as he pulled out of the parking lot.


	5. What Happened at the Hatcher House

Author's note: Ok, so I know the last chapter sucked. I hope this one will be better, but I've realized that trying to force my obviously non-canon story into an obviously canon one doesn't work well. I'll try to amend that with the next chapter.

Also, sorry for the delay in updating. I've just had so much other stuff going on, between school and trying to balance three other fan-fictions. I promise that the next chapter won't be long in coming.

* * *

As he pulled into the crime scene, Hodges had begun to wonder if he was doing the right thing by coming here. He wasn't cleared for this kind of situation, and he had promised Catherine he would continue to work the evidence back in the lab. He was just about ready to turn around and head back when there was a knock on his window.

"Hodges, what are you doing here?" Catherine said as he rolled down the window. "I told you to stay in the lab and work the trace evidence."

"I thought I could help," Hodges said weakly.

"And how exactly did you think you could help? Are you planning to talk Reggie Hatcher down?"

"No, I…I don't know. I just think I need to be here."

"Well, I'm still your boss, and I'm ordering you to get back to the lab. Now." Then Catherine turned and started to walked away. Hodges started to turn the car on, but something stopped him. He opened the door, got out of his car. "Catherine, wait," he called after her

"Damn it, Hodges," Catherine said when he caught up to her. "Get back in that car and get back to the lab, or I'll fire you right here and now."

"Just hear me out first," Hodges said. "After I say my piece, I'll go back to the lab, I promise."

Catherine took a deep breath. "Fine, but make it quick."

Hodges sighed. "Right. Well, um, Riley and I kind of…dated."

Catherine's eyes widened. "You and Riley?" she said, her voice full of surprise.

"I can explain," Hodges said quickly.

"I think you'd better. Do you have any idea what something like this could do to the lab's reputation?"

"It was ten years ago in Chicago. We dated for a few months, until I screwed it up."

"How exactly did you screw it up?"

Hodges looked at the ground. "I sort of…slept with her best friend."

Catherine whistled. "You didn't."

"I did. It was dumb, I know. Needless to say, we went our separate ways after that. She requested a transfer and was sent to St. Louis. Two years after that, I was transferred to Los Angeles, then here. I hadn't given her a second thought until she walked into the lab three months ago."

"That's all well and good, but it doesn't explain why you're here."

Hodges ran his hand over the back of his neck. "Well, that's where it gets complicated. I thought I was over her, that I had put it all behind me. But these last few weeks, those feelings have been coming back." He took a deep breath and continued. "I think I'm still in love with her," he said. "That's why I came out here. I'll head back to the lab now." He turned and started to walk back to his car.

"Hodges," Catherine called after him. He stopped and turned around. "If you stay out of the way and do as I say," she said, "you can stay."

He nodded and hurried after her. She left him at the crime scene tape, where he stood, growing increasingly impatient for what seemed like an eternity. He watched as Nick, Greg, and Detective Brass whispered to Catherine and pointed at him, no doubt asking what he was doing there.

After five more minutes, he saw Riley come out of the house and approach the SUV she and Ray had driven to the crime scene. He saw Nick walk over to the car that was parked behind the SUV. Suddenly overcome with emotion, Hodges ducked under the tape and started toward the car.

He was quickly stopped by Detective Brass and Catherine. "Where do you think you're going?" asked Detective Brass.

Ignoring him, Hodges turned to Catherine. "Please. I need to do this." Catherine hesitated for a minute and nodded. "Stay behind Nick," she said as he pushed past her. He waved an affirmative and hurried after Nick, who gave him a look that was a mixture of annoyance and confusion, but didn't say anything. The questions would no doubt come later, and Hodges wasn't looking forward to answering them.

As Riley opened the cargo door of the SUV, Nick asked how many gunmen there were. Being as discrete as she could manage, Riley held up one finger.

"How are you doing?" Nick asked. This time she held up four fingers. Hodges wasn't sure what that meant, but her answer seemed to satisfy Nick.

As she pulled out the first aid kit and moved to close the door, Hodges decided that it was now or never. "Be careful," he said. Riley froze for the briefest of seconds before continuing back to the house. He then turned to Nick who motioned for him to go back to the command center.

Hodges again took his place off to the side as the others discussed what to do, this time staying within earshot.

"I've got SWAT teams standing by waiting for a signal," Detective Brass said. "One word and they'll use gas and then storm the basement and get them out."

"That sounds risky," Catherine said. "What if the kid freaks and starts shooting? He'll blow that lab and kill everyone in it."

"Then we can't risk it," Greg said.

Nick nodded his agreement. "Riley knows what she's doing. She's got a gun and she'll use it the first chance she gets. I say we let this play out and trust Riley to do what needs to be done."

Hodges nodded his agreement, even though he knew no one had asked him. He just stood there and wondered how long it would take to let it play out.

Fortunately it didn't take long. Less than twenty minutes later, the SWAT team escorted Riley, Ray, and the Hatcher kids out of the house, one on a stretcher and the other in handcuffs. As the team went out to talk to their people, Hodges stayed where he was, watching from a distance.

He had crossed a line and he didn't know if he would be able to go back from here. He knew that Riley would have to talk to him now. He had all but announced their previous relationship to the world. _God, I'm an idiot,_ he thought as he watched Greg and Riley share a hug of relief.

Shaking his head, Hodges turned and made his way back to his car.


End file.
